pins and needles

To start off - Stefan's MRI was good.  'Stable' was the word the Dr. used.  Whew.  I had been on pins and needles up until the 2 pm appointment.  I don't think I could have handled any other answer.

When I met up with Stefan and his Dr., we spent a good half an hour talking about the recent news of our little girl, and ways we can reduce Stefan`s stress load.  Stefan IS one of those people who laughs at the suggestion of deep breathing.  We tossed around a bunch of other ideas though - tai chi, listening to music, etc.  Stefan has been noticeably more 'on edge' since Charlotte's diagnoses.  He also hasn't really been able to take his sleeping pills since we are both essentially on call for Charlotte right now.  This hasn't helped.  We are hoping he will be able to take a reprieve from his rehabilitation program for a couple months until Charlotte's active treatment is over. 

Well into the conversation with his Dr., I finally piped up with..."ah, how was the MRI?"  and the Dr. responded with the good news and a "I guess I should have started with that"!

All of Stefan's team was needless to say shocked about our double case of bad luck.  We are so happy this hurdle is done for now - we'll be back in September for Stefan's next check up.  We had checked with Charlotte's Dr. the last time we were in about taking her with us to Stefan's check up if we couldn't find someone to leave her with.  Of all the public places out there, the cancer agency is probably the safest.  So we tucked her up into her stroller and brought her with us. 

Charlotte has been emotional lately, and very attached.  We had a few options for having her stay home, with both our mothers and Stefan's sister ready and able to watch Charlotte so I could go to Stefan's appointment with him.  These are three of her favorite people - and with her feeling a bit better, thought it would be no problem.  But she only wanted mommy and daddy, and we just didn't feel we could leave her.  Over the past few days, she will cry out of the blue over nothing and wants lots of cuddles (Charlotte has never been a cuddle bug!).  I'm not sure if this attachment is just from all the chaos in her life right now (to be expected), or a symptom of pain.  We'll check with the Dr. tomorrow about the possibility of pain and management.  The most difficult part of this is her inability to communicate how she's feeling.  In the meantime - we are giving her extra special attention and care!

Chemo day tomorrow.