My boobs job

It's been one week since Nathan's last bottle of breast milk.  Nathan was breastfed right up until Charlotte was diagnosed.  But that week of pumping while we were at the hospital took a tole on my milk supply.  That, and Nathan got so used to the bottle, I think he grew a little impatient with me.  I kept up pumping, but less and less often - until I pumped his last bottle last week and decided to call it quits.  While I feel sad letting it go, I'm okay with it.  I was never one of those moms that was in love with breastfeeding.  It was a love hate relationship. 

Nathan is away for two nights with Stefan to his grandparents, my first night away from him (sniff sniff).  It was really hard coming home from the hospital today to not find his smiling face.  I'm so fortunate for this little bright spot, he is such a good baby, and he has made this process so much smoother then it could be.  He is great for whoever is watching him - makes all this tugging at my heart strings in different directions bearable. 

I sometimes can't help but feel robbed.  I didn't get to fully enjoy my pregnancy as we were going through Stefan's treatment.  And now my maternity leave time with him has been impacted as we go through this stage of our lives.  I have to remind myself that he is getting more quality time with his father and grandmothers he may not have had otherwise.  (I also remind myself how fortunate we are to have a whole year of maternity leave in Canada).  While I would love to believe I'm the only one for him - he does just fine when I'm not around, and benefit's from the extra love.

That being said, if anyone does have a cryogenic chamber they could lend me so I can freeze him for a year or two until things get less hectic, please give me a call. 

I know I haven't updated on how Charlotte is doing in awhile - no news is good news.  She is tolerating the chemo remarkably well (I think this is due to all the positive thoughts and prayers coming her way - keep them up please Army!).  We are roughly half way through this phase, and next Friday will repeat the last 4 weeks of treatment.  We hit the beach after this morning's hospital visit to enjoy the sunshine!

I can't complain when I get to spend the day playing at the beach with my girl!