How am I?

I often get asked how I'm doing.  My typical reply is good - I'm good. 

Here's the truth:

When I'm at work (away from Stefan) - I sometimes am a bit of a wreck.  I often cry at random moments - have made a few escapes to the bathroom - and wonder if people notice my eyes well up at random times as I try to choke back tears.  It's hard to not think of the possible outcomes to this. I have good days and bad days - and am thankful for the people I work with as they have been very supportive.

When I'm with Stefan - it's easy to stay positive and bask in his uber-positive "I'll beat this" attitude.  It's always been one of his superpowers - his ability to make anyone feel at ease and 'good'.  He has always been the willful 'take one for the team' guy.  You know you have all teased him at some point - and he does that 'hang dog' look - giving everyone a laugh!  When you are with him - it's hard to remember the fact that he has a brain tumour - as he looks the best he has for the past year.  

Hence - at the end of my work day - I'm in need of my daily Stefan dose - I wish I could bottle it for all of you!