Why I'm going to ride in 2013

warning: read the following blog at your own risk of crying and a bit of heartache.  This is a cancer blog, and the following blog is the reality of the darker side of cancer.  This blog is a journal of my thoughts and activities, which you are privy to the intimate view of.  As much as I am a pretty positive person, and 90% of my entries of rose-coloured, there are the occasional rough days or dark thoughts that need to be explored as well.  Like a feel-good movie, these are the parts that have you bawling before we get to our happy ending.

When I tell people that Charlotte's diagnoses has an 85% cure rate, I usually get a "that's great!".  Really?  I don't think I would be happy with anything less then 100%.  Let me break down that number for you.  There will be roughly 65 kids this year in BC that will get diagnosed with Charlotte's cancer, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia - early B cell.  So that's 10, TEN, kids that won't be cured.  At the end of Charlotte's treatment, we will very likely know all 65 families, through seeing them at the hospital or attending various events.  No family should have to lose a child.  No family should have to see their child's body being poisoned in order to help them get better. 

I haven't even touched on Stefan's crappy 0% cure rate - all we can do is just pray every day that his tumour doesn't grow, or even better, just disappear. 

In the simplest of terms - It really sucks.  Cancer SUCKS.

I often think of my favorite short story, The ones who walk away from Omelas.  It's about this utopia town, where the key to the town's happiness is that one child suffers, and everyone knows that their happiness stems from this one child's suffering.  The ones who walk away, are the ones who can't live with it.  It makes me think of cancer - and how it's really everyone's fight.  I'm going to walk away.  (thank you Mr. Stephen Sturgeon for introducing the story to us in my grade 9 english class and really getting us thinking)

I've made the decision to join Team Nothing Butt Class in the 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer.  Yep - crazy me is going to ride the 200+ km from Vancouver to Seattle in June 2013.   Why?  For those 65 families and all the other families we see in the oncology clinic and at the cancer centre, for my husband and daughter, for my little cuz Jordy, for my grandma and grandpa, for Stefan's brother Eric and Aunt Kirsten, for my friends Zuri, Robin and Mike, and for the countless others out there who have been or will be touched by this horrendous disease.  I pray that in my lifetime we find the cure.  I'm tired of feeling helpless as I watch my little girl through this.  And maybe, just maybe, I can make a difference.  I have a year to raise $2,500 - hopefully I can get a little help on the way.  I feel terrible asking for help when we have been given so much support already.  We have a year - so we plan to do some fundraising on the way.  Please don't feel bad if you are unable to donate, I know so many people have already donated to the various other events we have done!  You can check out my page here:  ride to conquer cancer 2013

.....I guess I need to find a bike?